Dead Fly

by Merlin Ball

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1.
05:20
2.
04:06
3.
06:04
4.
05:37
5.
07:47
6.
04:21
7.
04:31
8.
04:27
9.
10.
04:01
11.
06:30
12.

credits

released May 17, 2005

All music, lyrics and production © Merlin Ball. All rights reserved.

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Merlin Ball New Westminster, British Columbia

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Track Name: Spiders
Shadow spiders crawl up and down the walls
in the corner of my eye
Tony Robbins sells me
hope on the TV

Shadow spiders crawl up and down my mind
in my imagination
teeth and motivation
sell me material redemption

Creepy crawly
shadow nighttime muttering
I wanna come down
my sanity is fluttering
Fly little bird I hope that you are hungry
for spiders

Shadow spiders
a fungus on the brain
in the falling rain
Humidity is stifling: just try to breathe

Shadow spiders crawl up and down the walls
in the corner of my eye
Tony Robbins sells me
hope on the TV

Shadow spiders I wanna go to sleep
I’ll find someone waiting for me
Track Name: Sad & Lonely
I’m so sad and lonely
So sad and lonely I could cry
I’m so sad and lonely
I don’t know how
I don’t know why

I don’t know why

Suffering from too much feeling
Apply the leech suck out the blood
Suffering from too much feeling
Tap the humour watch the flood

Here we go again
Sad and lonely once again
Here we go again

He so sad and lonely
So sad and lonely he could cry
He so sad and lonely
He don’t know how
He don’t know why
Track Name: Hibernating
There is something cold + untouchable about you
All about you
a thrill to distraction
with a finger draw a line down my spine
lose my mind
numbed into inaction
Not a hope of speaking out
I'm down in these blue shadows
petrify me Electrify me
I would give anything to know you harboured something
special for me something anything

When you stand so close
I'm wrapped up in the dark that's all around you
a smell that surrounds you
I wanna wake up wanna wake up
find you blue + breathing
Hibernating
There is something cold + touchable about you
All about you
you thrill you distraction
with a finger scratch a red line down my spine
lose my mind

If I knew I could sleep all night
Track Name: It's OK
大丈夫
All she said to me
大丈夫 it’s OK
don’t worry

It’s all in my head
It’s OK: don’t worry
I wanna welcome someone else inside
It’s OK: don’t worry

I’d like to hold you forever
To be free of my mind
I’d like to talk to you forever
hear you laughing, stroke your hair

This connection’s non-existent
It’s OK: don’t worry
I am disconnected
It’s OK: don’t worry

She’ll cut me too much slack again
It’s OK: don’t worry
She’ll cut me down to size
It’s OK: don’t worry

I’d like to hold you in my arms
feel peaceful, feel anything
everything is all right

It’s OK: don’t worry
Track Name: Dead Fly I
Why don’t you trust me?
I only want what I’m made to want
Why don’t you love me?
I can’t help what can’t be helped.
I can’t change what can’t be changed
I don’t wanna change you.
I want you to change yourself.
Only when it’s time.

I’m not here to kill you
I’m not here to help you die
You yourself you wanted this
You can’t live if you can’t allow
it all to slip away
It’s all a dream anyway

I don’t wanna let you go
and I don’t wanna be a prisoner
I don’t wanna lock you down
I don’t wanna change you
I don’t wanna die here on a window sill
Deaf fly on a window sill

I don’t wanna kill you when it’s time

You rest on your laurels like a fly dead on a window sill
You couldn’t get out you wanna give up now
You didn’t earn this anger you don’t deserve to be so hopeless
Don’t you don’t you dare take it out on me

Yeah it’s all a dream anyway
It’s all a dream
Track Name: I See You
I see you
looking at me
I see you
looking happy
I see you
standing in the wind
I see you
shivering

I see you
Can you see me?
I see you
You are frightened
I see you
smiling tightened

I see you
I close my eyes
I see you
Hello, goodbye
I see you
You are crying
I see you
I am lying again

I see you
looking at me
I see you
smiling happy
I see you
standing in the cold
I see you
stone cold
Track Name: Loner
You are angry
have every right to be
you are angry
except when you’re with me
You surprised me
Coz I only see you smile
what you make up for in kindness
you lack in guile

I am childish
+ I don’t want to be
I’ve spent my whole life looking for
something I can’t see
This loner’s getting lonely
do you think I should quit
or do you wanna come along?
enough of all this shit

if I could let it go
if I could only let it go

You could go your way, I could go mine
that’s how I’ve done it all before, every singe time
I’m sick of introductions: "So what is it you do?"
And sick of calling things off, goodbye baby blue.
Goodbye baby blue….

This loner’s getting lonely
this loner’s getting old
do you wanna come along
if I could let it go
Track Name: Bleed
Somebody help me
Somebody help me

I can’t move I’m
wrapped in silk +
I can’t groove like
this

Some one must help
me + cut these cords
they need a knife
sharper than any
knife I’ve seen

U might cut the
flesh + then I’ll
bleed all over
silk
Track Name: Lie Back Down
Said the spider to the fly
you will love it if you try
if you just lie back and
let me have my way

I’m gonna suck you dry
you juicy little fly
These soft silk cords won’t snap
so struggle away

I’m not getting any younger
and I’m dying here of hunger
and I’m gonna take my time
So why not …

Lie back down, you’re gonna love it

She’s standing over me
all that I can see
is a soft and luminous landscape
waiting for seed

And I wanna give her everything
And I wanna take her everything
And I want these gummed-up wings
to be free

I wanna give her everything
and I wanna keep it
Track Name: Settle
Got a feeling about something
Something I have never been
Caught a glimpse of light, a crack in the wall.
Something I have never seen ….

You are patient, you restrained
So many things I try to be
There’s so much to learn about living
living w/ u.

I live beneath the rising sun
But I have never seen it rise
Pull the blindness out of my face
Out of my eyes

Oh and I feel that I have to settle sometime
Oh and I feel that I have to try

Love is a many-splendour’d thing
… what would a couple of kids know?

Got a feeling about something
Something I have never been
Caught a glimpse of light, a crack in the wall.
Something I have never seen
Track Name: Dead Fly II
Dead fly
Good night
Yes I will miss you
Your eyes
Streamlined
And blind
So good night

Dead fly
Good fight
Killed by
The lack of light
No spider-bite
Sucked dry
The life
From you

Dead fly
Husk-dry
Cooked by the sunlight
Good night
Brave knight
Yes I will miss you

Good night
Sleep tight
Yes I will miss you

Good night little one
Track Name: A Sort of Giving-in Song
Thought I could take on the world alone
And I was wrong
So I lie here in your arms and I sing
A sort of giving-in song

You aren’t responsible for me
Nor I for you
I like the view from way up here
The sky is so blue

I was flying blind when I flew
Into your net
I was terrified that as I had given
So I was gonna get

The more I kicked and screamed
The more I cooked my goose
With a quick wave of your hand
You cut me loose

“If you gotta fly away, then fly”
And you turned to go
Then the web began to sway so gentle
A cool wind to blow

I heard it in the trees
A whisper a kindness
And I hear it still
Funny thing is, now that I can fly again
I don’t think I will

Thought I could take on the world alone
So here I lie in your arms and sing to you
A sort of giving-in song